Tales from a Bruised Mind

You’ve probably heard it, read it or seen it in every bit of mental health advice or advertising in Australia and around the world.

“Open up conversations and talk about it”.

But it’s not quite as easy as that.

Talking about what you’re feeling deep inside is, well, a deeply personal thing. Sometimes you don’t want to go all out and share because:

1. You might feel like you’ll be judged by others
2. You’re not confident in expressing how you feel
3. You don’t have the right person to talk to in that moment
4. You’re confused and don’t know whether what you’re experiencing is worth worrying about or not

And the list goes on. Have you ever felt any of those things? Because I have and so have many others.

How I began to speak up, helping not just myself but others

As many of my dear friends and family know, I love a chat. But I’d still classify myself as an introverted extrovert, if that at all makes sense. Basically, sometimes I want to be a talker and other times, I’m happy to sit on the sidelines. It all just depends.

As someone who studied to be a communicator and media professional, I understand the importance of good communication and keeping the channels open.

But I wasn’t so good at discussing how I felt underneath my skin and within my skull.

I think the first time I spoke about my personal experiences was sometime in 2022, my first year in Sydney, when I did training to become a mental health speaker with the Black Dog Institute.

Before that time, the only people who knew what had happened to me was my own family and close friends. That was it.

But talking about mental health is all facets of your life is crucial. It might be hard at first, but it does become more natural with time.

Speaking with Drive Against Depression has changed my life for the better

As of today, I have spoken three times to three very different driving groups with DAD (Drive Against Depression), a fantastic organisation based in Melbourne.

The first time was daunting, the second was liberating, the third was amazing.

And I’ll explain why.

In 2022, we held the very first Sydney drive with DAD, driving from Cowan in the north of Sydney up to the gorgeous Hunter Valley via the Old Pacific Highway. It was a great day, even if the rain was a little off-putting to start the day.

I had never done a DAD drive before, so I just went for it and told a bit of my story. It was daunting and quite simply terrifying, even if it was to just a small group. But it was all worth it and, to my surprise, very well received.

A great man by the name of David James encouraged and supported me, which I thought was absolutely ace.

Flash forward to 2023 and next up was a drive for Brisbane, the first of its kind in the Sunshine State. This time, I was much better prepared, but still more than willing to give it a shot. People were filming so I didn’t want to stuff it up! But again, it went off without a problem and, by the end, I was left feeling strangely relaxed.

It was as if a huge weight had lifted right off my shoulders. And the best part? No one judged me or took it personally or got angry. They just loved it, which was so, so good.

Today, I spoke once again for our second-ever Sydney drive day, and I got the same goosebumps feeling. It just felt awesome.

Midway through, I had to pause my brain and simply soak up the moment – it was a feeling I knew I wouldn’t always be able to get.

I spoke honestly about how I hadn’t been feeling all that great lately and that I felt like puppeteers were tugging at my brain left, right and centre. I spoke of the challenges of living with mental illness, but that you can still live a positive and good life.

I also spoke that you’ll have rough, negative days, but those won’t be around forever. There is a lot of good in this world, you just have to seek out to find it.

…

Post-drive, I have realised that speaking about my story and my mental health and everything else that comes with it is healing. It makes you feel like you’re not alone, even if things feel as though they are eating away at you deep, deep inside.

Some days, I’ll be doing my usual thing, and then out of nowhere these negative thoughts come rolling through with little to no warning. It’s as if someone has put a filter across your eyes for a split second, and now everything is grey, instead of colour.

I hope that by talking, writing and preaching for good mental health that I’ll help someone, whether that be right now or some time into the future.

As I said in my speech today, no one else knows if you’re mentally hurting. The only way they will ever know is by hearing what you say and what you tell them. Keeping things to yourself might be the easy option, or the comfortable option, but it’ll keep brewing and could make your life more challenging and, ultimately, heartbreaking.

Speak up and out and tell whoever you can.

You’re not alone, ever.

Remember that.

Love,

Zak