Tales from a Bruised Mind

In November 2023, I had reached breaking point.

I made the decision to go back home to Queensland for a while because I was mentally shattered. I had been in hospital and everything had just become too much. I needed time to rest, reflect and have a complete reset.

Going home to my safe place was the best opportunity I could have had in that moment.

I spent seven weeks back in Queensland with my closest family and friends.

By that stage, I was very much ready to give up on it all and move on to doing something else. I was tired of Sydney and its very hectic lifestyle. I was struggling at work, and I was in general just struggling to keep up with modern, adult life.

I had never attached to the city like some of my friends had. It felt different for me and tough to find my foothold. I felt distant from it all and instead felt isolated, even with a population of over 5.2 million people. I felt like I was on a satellite orbiting the Earth, rather than being down on the ground with everyone else.

I guess that’s what the black dog can do to you.

The truth is that for the first couple of years I spent in Sydney, I was really depressed. I stayed at home a lot of the time, I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I didn’t even want to go for a drive – my favourite thing of all.

Work was always busy, but it was tough, too. High stress and loads of overtime took a toll on my personal life.

And then, all at once, I had no choice but to get help and try to get rid of these nasty feelings once and for all.

Why I decided to stay south after all

My work started to get a little easier in 2024. I was becoming more comfortable and confident with my abilities. After all, I loved the motoring world and the cars and the useless facts I could write about. I loved the automotive space more than anything else, so becoming an expert in that particular field was very rewarding.

In the later stages of 2024, I was approached for a new job opportunity. At the time, I didn’t think that much of it, and I also didn’t expect to be considered for it. It felt way out of my league, but I went along and gave it a shot.

After four rounds of interviews, I was offered the job. I couldn’t believe it.

While my plans were to eventually return to Brisbane, this Sydney-based PR role was one I wanted to sink my teeth into. It was automotive based, which was a perfect fit for me, for a big global agency called dentsu. I accepted the role and that was that.

Why I left my dream job for a different future

I always wanted to be a motoring journalist and worked my absolute ass off to get to Chasing Cars. It was a very difficult road and I honestly wanted to give up on it many times… but I’m thankful that I didn’t.

Writing and presenting videos about cars has always been the end goal for me, however I also had to be reasonable and realistic about my future.

The truth is that motoring journalism doesn’t pay very well, and as we all battle rising cost-of-living, I just couldn’t see myself being able to live comfortably on a journalist wage.

Living in Sydney is very expensive, but we are seeing prices go out of control in other major cities, even little old Brisbane.

And that truly sucks.

I had to give up a lot for my new Dentsu job. Friendships, press cars, amazing global work trips, exciting new experiences and driving the hottest new metal all had to go.

But at the same time, I am so excited to be starting with a new group of people, new challenges, new opportunities, new friendships and new projects I just wouldn’t have been able to get with my former job at Chasing Cars.

Change is hard, and it is one of the most difficult things for me personally, but I’ve got a very good feeling about all of this.

Stay tuned for more things to come in the very near future.

Zak